Get To You
by whistlewhileyouwrite
Summary: Will had a simple question, but Jay wasn't ready to hear it. Now he has to decide what to do with the little red box he had tucked away.
1. Chapter 1

**So, first off, in case you also watch Chicago Med, this contains spoilers from last night's episode, so if you haven't watched, don't read!**

 **Second, this was born out of a lot of frustration about the said episode and the need for something to fix it, for lack of a better phrase. I get that some people may say to move on, but we're entitled to our opinions.** **This is also freshly written and if there are mistakes, my apologies.**

 **Usually, I would put this in the collection _Every Melody is a Memory,_ but I felt it deserved its own thing. **

**Inspired by _Get to You_ by Michael Ray. Don't listen if you don't want to bawl your eyes out. **

* * *

" _I was just wondering, are you still holding onto mom's wedding ring?" Will asked._

" _Yeah of course," Jay answered. "Why wouldn't I?"_

The words had haunted him, still. He had tried to school his features when Will asked. He didn't have to be a detective to fully understand what Will was asking him.

It had been a punch to the gut for sure and it didn't help that it was so close to the dates that would forever be burned into his mind. The first was the day Abby walked back into his life and the second was the day Erin walked out.

There was a part of him that was dreading this moment. He never had the strength to put it back in the safety deposit box. In his mind, that ring was one of the last links he had to Erin.

" _Oh," he answered, realization dawning on him. The sheepish look on Will's face sent the knife further into his heart._

" _I'm just trying not to be a knucklehead," Will said._

Jay had to bite his tongue and not crush his brother's dreams. Just two weeks ago, Will had called, expressing his worry about what happened to Owen and his nanny. Jay hated to tell Natalie no when she asked for his help in finding her son. They caught the bastard that did it, so he had no problem with making some calls. The second time Will called that day was to tell him thank you.

He supposed he couldn't be a hypocrite. Will was wanting to propose because he and Natalie were in a good place. But Jay thought he was jumping the gun, even if that was exactly what he was going to do a year ago with Erin.

" _Okay, uh," he paused. "Come on in, I'll go get it,"_

The steps he took towards the safe in his closet were the heaviest he had ever felt. Heavier than when he walked down the hallway after his mom passed away, his brother and father not there. Heavier than the times he had to walk into churches in his old military uniform to honor fallen soldiers. Heavier than when he walked away from Erin after she made the call they were no longer partners.

He was glad his back was to Will because he didn't want his brother to know how bad this hurt him. Will was the golden child in his father's eyes, still was. His mom was the only advocate he had growing up. She told him before she died that while Will was her son, Jay was her baby. She said that parents don't pick favorites, but she had, and it was him.

Now here they were, and he was about to give his brother the ring he had dreamt of giving to Erin. The last link to both his mom and Erin would be gone.

He could feel Will's presence behind him, watching him. The safe was in front of him now and he just stared at it, his hand positioned above the keypad. Even the passcode was bringing back painful memories.

 _3524\. EL and CH. Erin Lindsey and Catherine Halstead. The two most important women in his life._

"Jay?" Will asked. Jay didn't move, he felt frozen in place. He slowly lifted his head to find his brother staring at him, a concerned look on his face.

"I, I can't," Jay whispered, trailing off at the end.

"Hey, Jay," Will said. "It's fine."

His eyes snapped back to his brother after trying to avoid him.

"What?" he stuttered.

Will took a deep breath, motioning Jay to follow him. He did, his head down as he followed his brother into the living room of his apartment. His legs had him collapsing onto the couch while he heard the door of his refrigerator open and shut and the distinct clink of two beer bottles.

Seconds later a bottle appeared in his line of vision, which had been the floor as his arms rested on his knees, back hunched over. He wondered if it was obvious he was avoiding his brother.

"I shouldn't have asked," Will said, his voice becoming softer.

"It doesn't matter," Jay began before getting cut off.

"Yes it does," Will said more forcefully. "I shouldn't have expected you to hand it over, no questions asked. I certainly didn't."

Jay shook his head, wanting his brother to shut up.

"Jay, listen to me, damn it!"

The bite in his brother's words had his head shooting up, a cold look on his face. He didn't get it.

"I get it," he said, reading his mind. "We both know that you would always propose with Mom's ring. It was always yours. It was always Erin's."

Jay kept his eyes on his brother. Even after the years spent not talking, his brother knew him just as well as he did growing up. Jay could say the same, and he could see that Will was regretting asking in the first place.

"Mom wouldn't want it sitting in my safe for the rest of my life," he said.

"But it won't be," Will said.

"No, Will don't do that," he shot back and standing up. "She is never coming back."

He could see his brother open his mouth, wanting to say something but holding it back.

"What?" he asked. He was in no mood to deal with this.

"No, it's not necessary."

"What were you gonna say?"

"Just," Will began, pausing to take a breath. "Planes work both ways."

Jay wanted to slug him, but he stopped. He had a point. There was nothing stopping him from going to Erin. It had been a year. But at the same time, it had been a _year._ She could be seeing someone, she could have moved from New York. There were a million things that could have happened in a year, Jay knew that well.

"Go get her."

Jay looked up at Will, finding a soft, apologetic smile on his brother's face. Without a second thought, he was heading back to his room, grabbing the black backpack that sat on the floor of his closet. He wasn't sure what he packed, but as a last thought, he reached for his phone, dialing a number he had come to memorize over the years.

"Hey," he asked. "Are you home?"

"Jay!" Will yelled, poking his head in the room. "Got you a flight. Leaves from O'Hare in two hours."

Jay nodded at his brother and before heading out the door and to New York.

* * *

It wasn't her alarm or her phone that work her up, but rather the banging on her door. Erin groaned as she rolled over, her eyes blinded by the harsh light coming from her phone as she checked the time. _3:23._ Whoever it was better have a damn good reason for waking her up this early.

She had been so tired after the week she had that she didn't think to grab the sweater by her bed and attempt to cover herself. They were just going to get to see her in the loose tank and shorts she wore while giving them a piece of her mind.

He exhausted state even had her forgoing a glance through the peephole and she quickly unlocked the door.

"Can I help you?" she said, but when she took in the man standing there, all the fight left her.

"Umm, yeah," he responded, shifting his weight.

"Jay, umm, what are you doing here?"

"Can I come in? This isn't a conversation for the hallway."

Erin hesitated before nodding, opening the door wider and letting Jay step into her loft. He set down the backpack and jacket he had on the floor and stood rooted in place. She eventually turned to walk further into her place, heading towards the kitchen to make herself some tea.

"Do you want anything?" she asked out of habit. He had been here for all of one minute and she felt herself righted again. Why did he do this to her?

"I'm good, thanks."

She nodded, pouring the hot water she just heated up into the mug.

She caught him looking around, and not at her, and took the chance to study him. It had been a year since she last saw him, since they slept in the same bed. She blamed that on the reason she now had to take melatonin to sleep on nights when cases didn't exhaust her.

He looked thinner and more muscular if that was possible. She heard, rather read, about his brush with the media a few months ago, when they thought he shot that girl. There wasn't much else she knew, other than they apologized and cleared him of the shooting. She could also see the tension he carried in his shoulders, probably whatever brought him out here in the middle of the night.

"So, Will wants to propose to Natalie," he began. It was an off way to start a conversation after not talking for months.

"That's great," she said, a questioning tone in her voice.

"I want to be happy for him, hell I am, but I can't help but think back to last year."

His statement again confused her, but she let him be. She could tell he needed to get this all out of his system.

"I had to see you," he said, turning around to face her. There was regret and sadness all over his face. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his right fidgeting with something inside.

"Why Jay? It's been a year, and yes I got your calls and texts, and I couldn't respond. Hearing your voice would be too much and I needed a clean break, and," she rambled but he cut her off.

"I was going to propose to you."

If she hadn't been holding her mug, it would have dropped to the ground. This wasn't happening, she was dreaming. Jay was not standing in her living room and telling her he was going to propose to her.

"I had the ring, even though I didn't have a plan. You were going through so much and at first, it was going to be on impulse. But when Will questioned me, I thought better about it. I had pulled the ring out after you turned and walked away outside the district. I realized that it was not ideal. But I still wanted to be there for you, I still want to be there for you, Erin. That ring was going to be my promise to you to never keep any secrets and to always have your back. To love you and protect you, even if you give me crap about it. I can't help it, Erin, my world starts and ends with you, and it always will."

There were tears in her eyes when he finished, and she hadn't realized how close they were standing to each other until she could feel his hot breath on her face.

"Will came over tonight, asked for our mom's ring," he said softly. "I couldn't give it to him. Because not only is that the last link to my mom, but that's the ring I was going to use."

Erin couldn't speak, but she could tell she was crying now when his hand came up to her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears.

"I love you, Erin. Always will."

She couldn't hold it in much longer. Without a second thought, her arms wrapped around his neck and her lips crashed onto his. It still felt so familiar a year later, like nothing had changed. They were still Erin and Jay, bickering over the wet towels she left on the floor and his driving habits.

His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tighter as he deepened the kiss. In doing so, her bare thigh hit something sharp coming from his pocket. The grunt that came from her had him pulling back.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" he asked. Erin couldn't help but smile at his concern, and then only smiled wider when she remembered thinking she would never get to smile because of him again.

"Yeah, but what it in your pocket that is so sharp?"

Jay looked down and Erin could see the blush on his cheeks from this kiss deepen at the realization. He looked back up at her, a sheepish smile on his face. There were no words exchanged as he pulled the object from his pocket and her hands flew to her mouth, a gasp escaping her.

"Jay…," she trailed off, but he shook his head.

"I'm standing by what I said, and because of that, I'm not going to show it to you. But for now, this is my promise to you. We will get back to the place we were, when everything was right. There were no ex-wives and problematic mothers standing in our way. And who knows, maybe a year from now, I'll show you what's in this box."

The tears were back but Erin saw Jay had some of his own. She nodded softly and leaned up to kiss him again. Her hand moved to wrap around his own and the box in it. It was then that she could feel everything falling back into place.

"Let's go to bed," she said and he nodded, following her once again. The box went to the coffee table while she shut the lights off.

While she settled under the covers, he stripped to his boxers in record time. She loved the smile on his face when he saw her sitting in bed, waiting for him.

"I do have one question," she asked as he crawled into bed.

"What's that?"

"How did you know where I was?"

"I called Hank," he answered, settling onto his side. Without any word, Erin slid into his arms, head resting on his bare chest.

"I also asked him if you could come back."

She looked up at him then with questioning eyes.

"The heat's died down. Your mom hasn't popped up in months. He doesn't see why you can't come back, but he's not sure how many favors he has left. There's a lot happening I will fill you in on tomorrow but I guess…"

"Yes," she said. It was the right thing to do. The past year has been hard and a lot was put into perspective.

"Yes?" he repeated in disbelief.

"I'm ready to come home."

"But you are home, to me. Because I felt at home the minute you kissed me."

Erin wasn't going to call him on the cheesiness of the statement, but he was right. She hadn't felt at home in the last year, and in the last 20 minutes, she had. And it was all because of the man lying next to her, the one who had never given up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews on this! I had originally planned on this being a one-shot, but all of your kind words inspired this. So to everyone who read and reviewed, this one is for you.**

 **As for a third part, not too sure about that. It may depend on if inspiration strikes again, but never say never!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"You ready?" Jay asked, his hand finding hers and bringing it to his lips to kiss.

"As I'll ever be," she replied, following him downstairs to his truck. They were back in Chicago, she was back, for the first time in a year. It was hard to believe this was happening and she was back on such a somber occasion.

Since Jay came to New York a week ago, he had to leave soon after on Hank's orders. They talked nonstop and he was the first person he called when Al was arrested, and when he died.

 _"Erin?" he whispered, his voice shaking._

 _"Hey, what's up? Are you okay?" It was almost one in the morning and Erin had actually been sleeping. But when she saw his name on the display, she didn't hesitate to pick up._

 _"I, no," he said, feeling the tightness in his chest that was reminiscent of every time one of his friends overseas died on his watch._

 _"Talk to me," Erin pleaded, sitting up in bed and ready to get to Chicago as soon as she could._

 _"I'm okay, physically," he explained, knowing that's what she needed to hear first. "It's Al."_

 _The strangled gasp that came from her told him she knew. He didn't have to explain further._

 _"Where are you now?" she asked._

 _"I'm outside Med. We all came as soon as Hank called. I had to get out of there, it," he paused. "I had to get out of there."_

 _Erin just sat there in bed, unable to move. She didn't know what to do, but after Jay's impromptu visit, they decided just to see what happens, to not put labels on anything just yet._

 _"What do you need, babe?" she asked, the endearment rolling off her tongue so easily. It was comfortable to her, and she hoped he felt the same._

 _"I need you, here," he replied instantly. "But I know Hank and he's going to find out who this guy is first. There's so much going on you don't know. But, I promise I will call you when they have details about the service. I'm sure Meredith will appreciate you being there."_

 _Erin nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see her. But he knew her well enough to know that even through the phone, she was understanding._

 _"I should get back in there. I'm sure everyone is wondering where I disappeared to and they don't need to worry more."_

 _She smiled at his selflessness, concerned for everyone else. It was typical Jay Halstead._

 _"Keep me updated?" she asked. The quiet "okay" that came from him eased her worried._

 _"Be careful," she followed up._

 _"Always."_

 _"And Jay? Do whatever it takes to catch this bastard."_

 _"We will. For Al," he replied before hanging up._

They caught the guy a few days later, and a week after his call, she was back. They had dinner with Hank when she arrived last night, the sergeant surprised at the unexpected guest when he walked into the restaurant. Jay hadn't told him she was coming.

The ride was relatively silent, both were still in shock and disbelief that he was gone, but Erin had refused to let go of Jay's hand. Her hands tightly wrapped around his when he got into the truck and started driving.

"How do you want to do this?" she asked, breaking the surprisingly comfortable silence. He glanced over at her, silently telling her he was confused.

"No one knows I am here, and if I show up with you, they are going to start thinking," she rambled. "Are we ready for that?"

Jay sighed, glad that they were at a red light, so he could give her his attention.

"Whatever you are comfortable with, that's what we will do," he said, kissing her hands again. "But no one will assume anything. It's our family, Erin."

Our family. The words rang in her head, but they didn't scare her as much as they once might have. He was right, the only people that mattered to her were family, and they would support whatever was happening with them.

Those words were on the tip of her tongue, but it was too early. She didn't want to jinx this, even if whatever this was felt right, maybe more than it ever had.

"I don't know what I would do without you. What I did without you," she whispered before amending her words.

Despite the occasion, she smiled at his own smile, that heart-stopping one he gave her that made her insides flip.

"I could say the same," he replied, not bothering to give a sarcastic comment. They were so in tune with the other, knowing when to joke and laugh, and when to be serious.

Before either of them realized, they were outside of the funeral home. Meredith wanted a more private service before the formal one, the one Hank managed to get to honor their friend that dedicated years to doing what they were all trying to do.

Erin felt her heart rate pick up, knowing not much separated her from this little cocoon she had with Jay and the rest of reality. She thought back to his words and a part of her mind, way in the back, told her she had absolutely nothing to worry about.

"Everything will be fine," he whispered, holding his hand out for her to step down. He briefly teased her this morning about her heels, and she had been so wrapped up in her head she hadn't noticed he'd come to open her door.

"I know," she said, some conviction in her voice.

Knowing she didn't want to become a focus of today, he held back, despite the desperate want to hold her hand. Instead, it fell to her back, just lightly enough that she could feel his fingertips on the material of her coat.

While he concentrated on crossing the road, Erin finally had a moment to look at him. Jay had told her earlier that Meredith wanted zero uniforms at the private service, wanting to be able to celebrate and mourn who Al was as a person. Later, they would change to give him the proper send-off for a fallen Chicago police officer. Erin was already generating more worry about seeing everyone else in uniform, except her. It would be weird, but she wasn't reinstated yet. In fact, she wasn't sure she wanted to be, but that was for a conversation later with Jay.

Ever the gentleman, he opened the door for her, allowing them to feel the warmth from inside. Even in May, there was still a bite from the wind, especially on a day like today, when the sun was gone and replaced with grey skies and rain. Her eyes immediately found Meredith, who had to hold back more tears when she saw Erin.

Without hesitation, she accepted her hug, not knowing how much she needed it until now. Meredith had been almost a second mom to her, besides Camille, and Erin's heart broke for the woman who lost her daughter and husband within a year.

"You don't know how much it means that you are here," Meredith whispered into her ear. Erin only hugged her tighter before pulling back.

"It means the world to be here. Al was family, as are you."

The older woman gave a sad smile before accepting a brief hug from Jay.

"Everyone is sitting up front. I don't care what they say, you all are family, more so than our own."

Both Erin and Jay nodded before walking towards the double doors. Even before they could attempt to find seats or pay their respects, they were met with the wide eyes of the rest of Intelligence. Hank hadn't told them she was back, it had only been a day, and Erin couldn't imagine what was going through there heads. They stood at the entrance, probably blocking other mourners, but everyone else was not moving.

She felt Jay's hand on her back, urging her forward. Her steps faltered slightly, still feeling out of place in her heels and the black dress she wore to Terry's funeral. No words were said as they moved closer, but the tears that were building in her eyes finally fell when Kim moved forward, wrapping her arms around her old friend.

"It's so good to see you," Kim whispered, hugging tightly. Erin responded in kind, before moving onto the rest of her team. When she finished greeting everyone, she saw Jay standing off to the side talking to Hailey. She closed the distance, her arm looping through Jay's but not before giving the blonde a quick hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, not needing to explain herself. Jay had told her enough during one of their long talks about how much Hailey had done to pull his head from his ass over the last few months.

"Anytime," she replied, stepping back. Moments later, they were asked to take their seats, and one by one, Intelligence filed into the first few rows opposite of Meredith. No one batted an eye or questioned anything. They were just as much his family as anyone else.

* * *

"That was better than I thought," Erin said as they walked into Jay's apartment later that night. Her heels were killing her, and she was ready to be out of this dress and into one of Jay's old shirts and yoga pants.

"I agree," he said, removing the black tie from his uniform and starting to unbutton it. After both services, it only seemed fitting for everyone to reconvene at Molly's. It was not after midnight and both were wiped.

"Everyone was happy to see you, you know that right?" he asked, grabbing them waters from the kitchen before settling onto the couch next to her.

"I know. I just expected more," she paused, taking a sip. "I don't know. I'm not sure how I can leave like I did and expect everyone to welcome me back so easily."

"I did," Jay answered without missing a beat. "I did because I love you, we all do. And we never stopped, and we never will."

Erin was stunned speechless. Even while she had those words in her mouth for the past few days, there was so much that was stopping her from saying them. He told her that back in New York, she was aware of how he felt, how he still felt. But she was scared. That was the only explanation.

"I love you too," she whispered. "I guess I was scared, not knowing how much things had changed in the last year."

"There may have been some changes, but that's one thing that didn't."

She paused, looking at him for a moment. Until now, she never noticed how much he had seemed to age. It may have only been one year, but he looked at least five years older than when she last saw him.

"I got all your calls," she whispered after a moment. "I'm just sorry I didn't return them."

Erin saw the heartbreak on his face, even as he tried to conceal it.

"Hank told me not to, at least for a while," she explained. "And, it's my fault after, because I got caught up in work and pushed everything down.

"Hank and Al called me when they started getting heat about Justin's killer and told me to lay low. And then Hank let it slip about everything that happened when you went undercover. I wanted nothing more than to get on a flight and apologize for everything."

"There's nothing to apologize for," he interrupted, but she shook her head. She paused for a moment, trying to find the right words for what she wanted to say.

"I let you, alone, with your mother's ring in your pocket because I was trying to protect my own, lying mother. I made a mistake, probably the biggest one I ever have. I should never have saved her again because she sure as hell didn't deserve it. You know, she OD'd a few months back. And when Hank told me, I laughed. And for once, I didn't feel pathetic about the reaction I had about my mother. Because at the end of the day, she took every single good thing I had in my life and threw it away."

Erin looked up at Jay as his fingers brushed away the tears falling down her face.

"I'm not letting her do that anymore," she whispered before kissing him with every ounce of emotion she had left in her. She felt whole, complete, more than she ever had before. Kissing Jay always made her feel safe and loved, but she had never felt this level of completeness before. Jay soon pulled back, just enough for their lips to ghost against the others. His eyes fluttered open, allowing her to see just how blue and pure they were.

"What are you saying?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion and arousal.

"I quit my job today," she replied, and before he could answer, she continued. "And you're looking at the newest agent for the Chicago FBI field office."

Jay chuckled, pecking her lips once more.

"Oh, am I?" he replied, causing her to giggle.

"My apartment goes on the market next week; my stuff is being shipped here tomorrow. Now I just need to find a place to live."

"Move in with me," he interrupted before she could finish her thought, his nose nudging hers to pull her attention to him. "I'm never letting you go again."

"Deal," she said, before crashing her lips onto his once more.

The only other thought going through Erin's head at that moment, besides how much she loved this man, was that she felt complete and whole for the first time in a year, and perhaps more than she had ever in her life. It was all because of him, and she silently promised herself she was never leaving again.


End file.
